Category: Psychology at work

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“I’m okay” – “I’m not okay”: The ultimate test

Picture of a US penny

At the end of the day, our ultimate test of well being boils down to one of two sentiments: “I’m okay” – “I’m not okay“.

This may seem a bit simplistic, but if you really dig deep into your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, this simple phrase sits at the crux of our prevailing psychological state. It’s so pervasive, that it even presents itself through our reflexes, and more complex states of unconsciousness.

Of course there are varying levels of “okay-ed-ness.”

One may be a little on edge, or, completely terrified. On the positive side, sentiments range from “whew, that was a close call” to “I’m on the top of the world” (see “Titanic”, or the Oscars that year). Regardless, there is a ‘tipping point‘ upon which our sense of well-being teeters.

So: When do we most often experience this? Continue reading ““I’m okay” – “I’m not okay”: The ultimate test”

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Who Cares? Presenting without presenting

presenting in front of an audience is considered to be more stressful than death

You’re invited to make a presentation to a group for the purpose of enhancing some aspect of their knowledge or skill. By participating, attendees will receive credits required by their professional trade organization. Sound like an exciting opportunity? I wouldn’t expect folks to be lining up ahead of time to get a front row seat, regardless of what you’re presenting.

But you’ve prepared and agonized over (and over) what you’ll present for days and finally have your act together. As you assume the center of attention, you look out over the 100 or so individuals assembled. You get a sinking feeling. What are the real chances of making a difference with your presentation? “Why can’t all audiences look like the students in ‘Dead Poet’s Society” or the fans at a rock concert, or a football game?”

So what do most individuals do in this situation? Most press on with their prepared agenda. Sure, these presentations turn out to be ‘OK,’ but not the stuff that will go viral on the web. Some, however, do something different that truly makes the session stand out.

They don’t present.

Continue reading “Who Cares? Presenting without presenting”

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What vs How: Which is more important and why we don’t act accordingly.

Little boy playing violin. What vs how can make a big difference in learning and development

If you really want to know who a person is, would you rather know what they’ve accomplished, or how they’ve performed? What vs how? Results vs behaviors?

You may already have an answer in mind, but how sure are you?

Two stories from my childhood may shed a bit of light on the controversial issue of knowing what vs how.

Childhood Example #1 : “Sour notes”

When I was in third grade I picked up my Dad’s violin and began playing a few simple songs. Noting that I could make the ole fiddle produce recognizable tunes, and desperate to find something I was good at (neither academia nor sports were my thing in grade school), my folks signed me into violin lessons.

By my fourth year of lessons it was time to demonstrate my virtuosity to the rest of the school. For this grand debut, my instructor suggested I play a duet — WITH MY MOTHER! Had smartphones been around, this would have warranted a classic, “OMG” text — or worse. But I’m committed to keeping these posts at or below a PG-13 rating. {Note: That isn’t me in the picture — but that’s how I felt.}

My mother was an accomplished pianist — and she can still play — but some of the virtuosity of her material has ‘frayed’ a bit with disuse. Nevertheless, her part was easy for her (even today). As for me, despite the fact that I’d be: playing a violin, in front of my classmates, with my mother — my part was a real stretch for my skill level.

Continue reading “What vs How: Which is more important and why we don’t act accordingly.”